Gonna be a cold one today

Whenever I'm asked where I grew up, and I respond that I am from California, I inevitably am told that I must have trouble getting used to how cold it is in Chicago. I usually don't explain how I am actually not that fond of California weather, and how I like having four distinct seasons. Still, it's a fair observation. How does a third-generation Californian cope with the cold?

The answer is that it really isn't that hard, once you learn a few tricks. You need a good coat, preferably a parka. And a hat. And you really need a scarf at least; a neck gaiter is better. Gloves are optional unless you're going to spend a long time outdoors, like shoveling snow.

I've also been working on a list of stages of cold, to enlighten those who live in warm climes.

Anything above 50 degrees is not cold.
In the 40s is when you first start to see your breath. This is required before you can claim that it's cold. No breath means it's only "cool."
In the 30s is when it starts to feel cold (assuming you have the proper gear. If you don't it's cold well before this.) Unless there's significant wind, though, it's not too bad.
Once it dips into the 20s it really starts to feel cold. Even with appropriate gear it can feel uncomfortable, especially with the wind. The ground starts to freeze a bit at this stage as well.
When it goes below 10 degrees is when you start to feel your nostril hairs freeze. This is a very strange sensation. I think sound is affected at this temperature as well. Everything seems quieter.
Below zero the landscape starts to feel alien, as if you are walking on another planet. Your nose freezes, sounds are attenuated, you are wearing the equivalent of a space suit; it's all very strange.

The coldest I've been in was last year, walking along Wacker drive by the Chicago River, when the temperature dipped to -3 with a wind of at least 25 mph. The wind chill must have been -30 or so. It was damn cold. I had not yet acquired long underwear (a necessity for extreme cold) so I was pretty miserable. Then I saw a guy walking between buildings with no coat on, going to get coffee at a Starbucks. I'm pretty sure he died right there. I smiled to myself and thought "he must be from California."